Why Your Heart is the best CEO of You.

Some of our coaching clients are surprised when we tell them they can’t always believe their thoughts, but rather they should follow their heart.

“What?!” they respond in disbelief.

It’s true. Your thoughts are controlled by your mind.

Your mind is a survivor.
It’s the home of your ego. It works hard to control your thoughts. Its mantra is: “Me-me-me!” It’s often frantically trying to control the people, places, and things around you — including the future.

Your mind (ego) is usually in a hurry, looking outside of yourself, and catastrophizing. It tells you, “You need to be afraid!” and spins out worse case scenarios, convincing you they’re real.

Your minds’ intentions are good. Your mind wants to protect you from danger. The problem is its strategies were developed when you were a little person growing up — trying to survive.

There is another part of you that is much wiser, holistic, inclusive, and calm. This part of you includes your mind, and also your body, as well as, your connection to something larger than yourself. In short, we’ll refer to it as your heart.

When you tap into your heart when making decisions, and listen, you’ll feel more relaxed, calm, your body may even settle. The decisions you make will be more personally fulfilling, and in the long run, more fulfilling for the people around you.

This part of you is your inner wisdom and is the perfect candidate to be the CEO of ‘you’. Your mind, on the other hand, makes a decent implementation manager, but a horrible CEO.

The trouble is that our clients often struggle with discerning who is talking — the mind or the heart.

When you are listening to your mind you’ll likely feel tense, worried, anxious, or obsessive. There is often a sense of urgency and you’re in what we call a “fear storm.” You feel out of control, obsessive, and your life feels unmanageable.

Imagine if you could shift that unmanageability in the moment and feel grounded, calm, and tap your inner wisdom?

Two Tools To Help

Is it True? This one is borrowed from Byron Katie, creator of The Work.

Notice your thoughts and narrow in on the one that is really triggering you.

Ask yourself, “Is it true?” (At this point your mind will usually scream, “YES! Of course, it’s true! Geeze!!”)

Then, pause, take a breath, and ask, “Can I ABSOLUTELY know that it’s true?” At this point, if you’re really listening you’ll hear a softer, less stressed, voice responding usually with a no.

There’s more work you can do in this process, but even these first two questions can start loosening the grip your mind has on you.

Say It Out Loud. This one is borrowed from Sonia Choquette, a spiritual teacher.

Give each side of you: mind and your heart — a voice out loud. For example, if you are wondering whether to move to a new town or stay put.

Start with giving the mind the first voice.

My mind says…it’s a bad idea.
My mind says…I’ll never find a house I can afford.
My mind says…I’ll regret it.

My heart says…it’s what I really want to do.
My heart says…I’m not alone and will figure it out.
My heart says…I’ll find a place I love to live.

After doing this you’ll have a sense of clarity inside.

Find opportunities to experiment.

When you’re feeling anxious, stressed, worried — try one or both of these tools. See if you can connect with your heart. You’ll feel calmer and have greater clarity on what you really need and want.

Often clients think — we’ll I’m just fooling myself listening to my heart.
That’s just what your scared mind wants you to believe. When you are listening to your heart you’ll likely feel settled, relaxed, calm, or patient. There is a sense of peace and serenity even facing tough situations.